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101 Ways to Answer Telemarketer Calls

"Hello, can I please speak to...uh..."

Answer #101: "$%#%^% @$*& &*$&* @(&^% $##@^% %^#%^!!!"

Answer #100: "I'm sorry, he's currently on line two talking with the mafia. Can I give him a message...?"

Answer #99: "I'm sorry, he's dead. Please hold."

Answer #98: "Wait. Didn't you hear on the news yesterday that he was run over by an 18 wheeler?!

Answer #97: "Hey, you just called five minutes ago!"

Answer #96: "Me no speak english!...What?!...Me no speak english!"

Answer #95: "The main course cannot take any calls right now."

Answer #94: "Excuse me, this is Officer Thompson. Mr. ... was found hanging by an electric cord in his garage."

Answer #93: "I'm sorry, he's in a mental institution for twenty years to life for physical assualt on a telemarketer. Are you sure you want to speak to him?"

Answer #92: "He's currently looking through the phone book to find someone to kill. What's your name again?"

Answer #91 "This is his butler. He hasn't giving me a raise in 20 years! Why would he buy anything from you?! (click)"

Answer #90: "I'm sorry, he's testing out his suicide pills. Please stay on the line."


Do you have any answers that you think should be here? If so, e-mail me

alurgee@hotmail.com




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